I love good books, and currently have about 1,400 volumes in my library that remind me of this fact every time we need to move! Many sit on the shelves untouched for years on end, but a few have significantly impacted our home.
This very short list of favorite books, which is a self-disclosure of my heart and a reflection of the things that matter in my life, is offered to encourage other Seventh-day Adventist pastors in their daily walk.
Only four categories of books made it to my short list: Marriage, Personal Worship, Family Worship, and Personal Finance. The over-riding concern of this list is not theology or profession, but the relationship of the pastor with God and family. The single volume in the Personal Finance category is not offered primarily because of its financial information, but because of its practical focus on determining priorities for one’s life.
Marriage
Too many excellent pastors I have known through the years have lost their marriages and often their ministries because of failure to place a high priority on having a special relationship with their spouse. Before we were married in 1980, Donna and I attended an Engaged Enrichment Seminar, which was the first of many similar relationship-building seminars we have attended together. We have also led several seminars ourselves. In our home, we have placed a small book case in our bedroom which houses a collection of favorite devotional and couple-oriented treasures. To date, the following are my favorite two books in our collection.
The story of Thomas and Nanette Kinkade in The Many Loves of Marriage is full of delightful romance, humor, and practical ideas in the context of their personal experiences as a couple. We all know of the famous Kinkade paintings, but the Kinkade marriage, in my opinion, is an even more inspiring work of art that should stand as encouragement for all couples seeking happy marriage.
If you want to have a successful marriage, why not peer into the lives of real couples who have successful marriages? In Maximum Marriage, Peggy and Roger Dudley share the stories of 28 couples who have developed strong marriages that are worth taking note of. The struggles and practical advice from couples who have discovered delight in marriage is not just interesting, but fun to read.
Personal Worship
In interacting with pastors through the years, I have found many, including myself, have felt “stuck in a rut” at times when it comes to personal worship. We know we need an exemplary relationship with God, but what do we do in our quiet time with Him? Through the years I have been blessed to have church members who have been avid readers, and at one point, when my personal experience felt especially dry, a member gave me a copy of Windows of the Soul by Ken Gire. It was like water to parched earth! Gire shares from personal experience how God speaks to us in virtually every activity we find ourselves doing - IF we are paying attention and looking through the windows of our soul. It was a paradigm shift in my thinking about God’s proactive methods of communicating with us, and it has lit a fire in my heart that has burned brightly for years of discovery and wonder of God’s working in my life!
The Jesus I Never Knew is a classic worth re-reading. The book was so compelling for me that I have read it twice, and reviewed portions of it many times. I have deeply appreciated Ellen White’s Desire of Ages, but Yancey provided a depth of fresh insight into who Jesus was and what He was really like as nothing I have ever read. This book had a way of stripping off the veneer of preconceived ideas about Jesus. It has been like a breath of fresh air for my spiritual life.
Family Worship
The book lay on my desk for weeks, until finally I took it home and opened it at family worship time. My sixth grade son saw it and said, “Dad, is that an ADULT devotional book?” I responded, “I think so.” To which he and his fourth grade sister retorted, “OH, NO!” in unison. I responded, “Let’s just read one story. If you don’t like it, we’ll try something else.” After the first story, they chorused, “Daddy, read another one.” So I did, until after the fourth story, I announced we must stop or they would be late for school. From that point on, we read four stories per day in Over&Over Again! When I announced we had read the last chapter, they chorused, “Oh, no!” again. Then we were happy to find volume 2. I believe it was most likely the reading of these books that helped both of my children to become very generous with God and others in need. Some of the stories were about people we actually recognized or knew personally, and this evoked a sense of credibility to the amazing stories of God’s providence. These books also sparked an interest in seeking out stories of God’s leading in the lives of real people. Other books we have enjoyed for family worship have been Greatest Stories from Guide.
In our home, family worship is special. All through our parenting years we have made a conscious effort to make worship time fun and interesting for our children. This has involved singing together regularly, kneeling for prayer as a family, and reading something specifically targeted to the ages of our children that might draw them closer to God. Now, at ages 16&18, they both carve out time (without any parental pressure) to have personal worship (in addition to family worship) on a regular basis. They typically read the Bible, writings of Ellen White, or a devotional book. Sometimes I walk past their rooms and they are on their knees. I am convinced that their desire to “Go deep” in their spiritual journeys was in some way triggered by pleasant times at the family altar. At an early age, Maxwell’s Bible Stories, Uncle Arthur’s Bedtime Stories and My Bible Friends were favorites, but now that they are older, we all find we still appreciate short stories of God’s leading in the lives of real people.
Personal Finance
Getting rich is not even on the list of priorities for most pastors I know. There are many better and faster ways to become wealthy than being a Seventh-day Adventist pastor. Yet, as stewards of our Lord, it is important to be wise in our use of the resources God has given us. Robert Kiyosaki produced a New York Times best seller that our family found to be excellent “out of the box” yet practical reading. The story of his life is fascinating. I have given copies of Rich Dad Poor Dad to many church members struggling with finances. Simply coming to better evaluate “stuff” in life through an “asset or liability?” filter has been an important exercise that has influenced many life choices (such as what equipment to buy when my son, at 16 years old, decided to start a lawn service and landscaping business). Although Kiyosaki’s well-defended proposition that a personal dwelling is a liability may be argued to some extent by pastors who are able to “double-dip” because of parsonage exclusions and deductions of mortgage interest paid, the concepts are worth serious consideration.
Summary
In summary, as hard as I know it is for conscientious pastors to balance the burden of ministry with the need for lots of family time, it is vital for pastoral families to be together often and enjoying the company of each other if we are to successfully model the Christian life to our church members. The little things we do for and with our families makes a much stronger statement to our parishioners than most of us probably imagine.
Several years ago, after preaching for a worship service in my church, a member who has been long respected in the congregation approached me and said, “Your sermons are good, and I appreciate them, but do you know what impresses me even more than your preaching?” He knew he had me curious, so he continued, “What I appreciate more than all the sermons you preach, is when you leave the platform, you stop at the front pew, and wait for your wife to join you as you walk hand in hand down the aisle every week. Now that speaks volumes to me, and don’t you ever stop doing it!” This is from a man that has a wonderful Christian family, and is himself, at least in my mind, a model for Christian parenting. His observation underscored the value of little things that denote affection and appreciation with our families.
I pray that the bit of self-disclosure I have given here will in some way help a colleague in ministry.
Glenn Holland pastors a church in the Columbia Union Conference. This article was submitted in October, 2004.
